She's all GROWED up!

I've decided that when the kids are grown and I have an excess of time to kill I really have a variety of options as to what I can do with the rest of my life!

1. Jingle writer -I've always had real skill at selling things with song.

When Thelonious was a toddler I discovered the magic that is crockpot cooking!
As a busy mother of a child just beginning to careen off of sharp objects and attempt to swallow anything that fit in his mouth being able to stick something in the crockpot in the morning and know that by the time Michael got home we would actually have a meal prepared reduced my frazzled state a GREAT deal...until Thelonious became interested and started attempting to push a stool up to the counter top to see what was happening in that little crock of goodness. And THAT'S when I came up with the enduring family favorite "Crock pot hot! Crock po-o-ot hot! Crocky Crocky Crocky crock. pot. hot!" I assure you it's a much catchier sung than written. Trust me.

2. Musical Theatre - I'm going to be in a production of The Sound Of Music before I die...even if it KILLS me!

Of course my penchant is to play Maria...because she has all the great singing numbers!
But as I see the inevitable wrinkledge that has created my beautiful crows feet and the now constant 'Child reprimanding crease' located between my eyebrows I know there's only so much theatre make-up can hide... and if need be I'll accept the role of Mother Superior in order to croon the ballad 'Climb Every Mountain' and leave not a dry eye in the house!
(I'd happily play 'Austrian Music Festival Audience Member #4' as well.)

3.Cookbook author and/or celebrity chef - If Guy Fieri can have not just ONE but SEVERAL shows on the Food Network there's hope for all of us 'less than Celebrity Types' on the air!

Out of sheer desperation, the need to watch something completely mindless and after searching WAY too long for a festive Christmas special... the kids and I tuned into a Disney/Food Network/ Christmas special hosted by Guy Fieri.
Not to be a total judgmental bitch...okay actually I enjoy being a total judgemental bitch...moving on...
But that guy is a piece of work! Call me crazy but for a holiday spectacular he could step up his look a bit (at least remove those glasses from the back of his head whilst eating in a fancy restaurant!?!)
And shorts...SHORTS. C'mon people, when did we lose our ability to dress for an occasion?
Shorts while riding the rides at Disney and eatin' a corn dog is one thing but while having a specially prepared Christmas dinner by 5 star chefs? That's just RUDE! Watch your back Mr. Fieri! I know how to dress for dinner and I can drop the words 'Man, that's money!' without sounding like a total douchebag! (maybe just a mild anti-itch cream)

4. Stylist - Then I could put together all the fashionable ensembles in my mind that are too small for my butt!

I've realized that my creative potential with clothing is greater at times than my bodies ability to pull it all off...unless I stopped eating, cooking and dedicated my life to cardio... which ain't gonna happen...so the idea of coming up with and putting together the wardrobes of the wealthy/ fashion challenged would be a dream come true for me! And we all know there IS a desperate need for this kind of work too! (See my earlier comments about Guy Feiri)

So there you go! 4 rock solid career possibilities for me once the kids are grown and gone....in the meantime however I write jingles in my head, overly process what to wear each day and practice my Maria Von Trap whenever I can... whilst preparing something delectable for my kith and kin....in preparation for my bright future ahead!

Peace,
-V